ILLU$IONA$TY

Skeletaurus' Apoconympho video for the Haus of Glitter's 4th of Jewlie party:

The Newest Member of the Saddle Club aka Ruff Riders

R u stayin' at le hilton? R u stayin' at le hyatt? Are you stayin' at le back stables at the Hampton Classic? One may never know...but for us fa$hion nasties the only jockey's touching our bodies are our tighty whities...if u catch our drift. So crack that whip glitterati!!!!! and prepare yourselves for the subtle seduction of this young stallion-the na$$$Tiest bitch on the block!!!...and we mean this in all senses of the word.

THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW...

$uper$tar?

or JTT in drag...

PROOF THAT THERE IS A G.O.D

I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING!!!!!! I POOPED MY PANTS! IS THIS REAL LIFEEEE???!!!!

mala mal MALUCAaaaaaa

we knew this bitch was fashion nasty from the moment we laid eyes on her!!! Shit man! she has beer cans in her hair as rollers! THIS BITCH IS THE NASTIEST FASHION NASTY ON 182nd. I LOVE HER!!!! she is the SCAT's MEEEoWWWWW

TOUCH MY BARREH

Lesbian soup...the pot thickens...

DOES CAMPBELLS HAVE A LESBIAN SOUP AGENDA?

(this article is dedicated to Jason Waterfalls - the inventor of the term lesbian soup)

a couple weeks ago the New York Times reported this shocking news....

Your body is probably home to a chemical called bisphenol A, or BPA. It’s a synthetic estrogen that United States factories now use in everything from plastics to epoxies — to the tune of six pounds per American per year. That’s a lot of estrogen.

More than 92 percent of Americans have BPA in their urine, and scientists have linked it — though not conclusively — to everything from breast cancer to obesity, from attention deficit disorder to genital abnormalities in boys and girls alike.

Now it turns out it’s in our food.

Consumer Reports magazine tested an array of brand-name canned foods for a report in its December issue and found BPA in almost all of them. The magazine says that relatively high levels turned up, for example, in Progresso vegetable soup, Campbell’s condensed chicken noodle soup, and Del Monte Blue Lake cut green beans.

The magazine also says it found BPA in the canned liquid version of Similac Advance infant formula (but not in the powdered version) and in canned Nestlé Juicy Juice (but not in the juice boxes). The BPA in the food probably came from an interior coating used in many cans.

link to read the rest of the article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/08/opinion/08kristof.html?_r=2&scp=1&sq=progresso&st=cse

THEN I UNCOVERED THIS:

OH

MY

G.O.D

this article was originally posted on feministing.org

This holiday season, Swanson Broth (a subsidiary of Campbell Soup) decided to make a very sweet advertisement promoting their product. The ad features the story of a lesbian couple preparing their meal on Christmas Eve with their young son, and it was featured in The Advocate, who has many GLTBQ readers:

No problem, right? Well, not to the far-right gay-haters at the American Family Association . The organization, known for boycotting Disney, McDonalds and Hallmark for "embracing the homosexual agenda", sent out the following email blast:

Send an email to Campbell Soup Company President Douglas Conant. Tell him you want his company to stop supporting the gay agenda.

In the December, 2008 and January, 2009 issues, Campbell Soup Company bought two, two-page advertisements in the latest issues of the nation's largest homosexual magazine, "The Advocate." The ads promote their Swanson line of broth.

In one of the December ads, the Campbell Soup Company highlighted the lives of two lesbians with their son. The others feature New York City chefs. See the ads here.

Campbell Soup Company has openly begun helping homosexual activists push their agenda. Not only did the ads cost Campbell's a chunk of money, but they also sent a message that homosexual parents constitute a family and are worthy of support. They also gave their approval to the entire homosexual agenda.

What lovely holiday spirit, eh?

Fortunately, Campbell Soup is standing their ground, as company spokesperson Anthony Sanzio replied :

"We support all types of families, regardless of how they're defined, [and have done so] for more than 100 years," Sanzio offers. "We advertise in a variety of different media outlets that appeal to a broad spectrum of society. That's what we're doing here, and that's what we'll continue to do."

Bravo to Cambell Soup for standing up for human decency and against this ridiculous homophobic bigotry.

I, for one, am going to go buy a can of Campbell Soup and mail it to AFA headquarters, with a note telling them that I fully support Campbells and will continue to happily buy their products. Here's their mailing address, if you'd like to join in:

American Family Association
P. O. Drawer 2440
Tupelo, MS 38803

LOOKS LIKE CAMPBELL'S JUST FOUND THEIR TARGET MARKET

RC (I can't even believe this is real - they even put BUTTERNUT SQUASH as the recipie, how does life set itself up so beautifully?)

Diva Snap

GLITTER NATION'S NEW SECRET(ion) HANDSHAKE

GET IT GIRL

ROBYN CRADLE'S GUIDE TO GETTING IT ON

SCAT GOT YOUR TOUNGE?

Has your love life this HOLYgay season left you with a stench you don't want to clean up?

Did you forget to take out the (g)litter?

Do you find yourself in an ally with a TOMCAT after midnight moaning and groaning like a scat in heat?

Too much scat nip(ples) got you chasing your own tail?

....then you my dear are WELL on your way to being...

THE ULTIMATE SCAT WOMAN

Before your romantic endeavors this SEXmass leave you tangled, mangled and bo-jangled in a ball of yarn remember this - you are the master(bater) of your own universe, the power is yours young spread thigh. So go out and booze it, chooze it, and loose it (on the dance floor)

LISTEN TO THE AGE OL' GLITTER NATION SAYING

You only live once - make sure it's enough.

Fortunately enough for you SCATS have 9 LIVES, so before you let your man candy tickle your fancy feast you need to make sure to get your pussy under control and on patrol

if you want to beat the Scatman at his own game then you must become the ultimate scat woman...

DEAR ROBYN CRADLES

take no prisoners

(sexual prisoners are a different story....)

Dear Robyn,

My love life has gone down the drain recently. I just don't understand men! I've been told I'm a very attractive woman and I have many men who are interested in me. The only problem is that when I find one I like, it never seems to go the way I want. Just as things start getting serious the guy completely bails out! Do I have some sort of disease or something? I feel like I am doing everything wrong. HELP!

- Bruised and Heartbroken, brooklyn, ny

Dear Bruised and Heartbroken,

Don't let the MAN get you down!!! You are the beauty and he is the beast - and this is a tale as old as time. What gal hasn't had this happen to her? This story has been told a million times, we've all been there. Men are s(CAT's) and like all furry little creatures they have petting and biting syndrome aka they only allows a certain number of strokes before turning and nipping you in the butt, and running away with their tale between his legs. The best medicine for a broken heart is GETTING BACK IN THE GAME!!!! GO OUT WITH THE LADIES, get BODIED, and for the love of god GET SOME ACTION. So girl, follow my titty tips below, slap on some red lipstick and put on your highest heels. And you will be feeling shiny and new in no time at all.

xoxo

Robyn

1. PAIN FOR PLEASURE

Say for instance your foot hurts and all of a sudden some one slaps you in the face. How long does it take to forget about your achey foot? Probably about .2 seconds...

Point blank, if a dude hurts you all you have to do is meet some one else and you will forget all about it. Go get 'em girlfriend!!

2. DON'T SLEEP WITH THE GUY YOU LIKE

If you really like a dude, don't fuck him. Yes, It is hard to resist la temptacion of Jesus Christo but you just got to do it. It's more fun when you are running up that hill and he's chasing you hand in his pants...

Most girls when they are dating a guy think like this.... "I like this guy, why would I want to do it with anyone else?/ I'd be deceiving him if I slept with anyone else." WRONG, WRONG AND WRONG. GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR HEAD -first of all and most importantly - if you sleep with some one else, HOW IS THE GUY YOU ARE DATING EVER GOING TO FIND OUT???

If you really like a guy hang out with him, get to know eachother, but wait until there is a clear emotional bond formed before you engage his member. REMEMBER- HE SHOULD BE THE ONE CHASING YOU. When you leave with your ovaries in a knot have five booty calls lined up. After you hang out with your ROMEO, you can call up Mercutio and he will take you out and eat you out (even if he's your cousin - which leads me to point#3).

3. WHO IS GOD? YOU ARE...

A Scatwoman is an opportunist and we are in a committed relationship with GOD

G.O.D = Getting. On. Dick.

Sometimes we are here to serve GOD and sometimes GOD is here to serve us. Of course there are certain limitations with GOD, but for the most part if you love GOD as much as I do you will begin to see the light. Our love of GOD drives us to do all sorts of blasphemies like flirting with our second cousin twice removed, that's legal in most states... RIGHT? At Glitter Nation we don't ever judge GOD, when GOD get's on our minds we have to do something about it, and will go to any unholy extent to get what we want.

4. If a guy doesn't go down on you DUMP HIM.

LOOK ladies, there is no wiggle room here. Why would you ever want to date a guy that doesn't like eating your puss in boots?? IF he doesn't kiss your rain and you still want to date him I need to ask you - ARE YOU fucking for real, is this guy for real??? There are no excuses if a man does not put his nose in your tulips.

You need a guy that wants to eat the fish right of the bone. Let me be clear- If you have seen his peen and he hasn't tasted your filet o' fish, DROP HIM LIKE IT"S HOT! I am speaking from experience, if a guy doesn't do it the first time, or doesn't do it at all - HE NEVER WILL.

you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Think about what a better place the world would be if every man knew how to suck a pussy like a porkchop.

5.Everybuttie is FUCKIN'

As GAGA stated "a condom is ultimate fashion accessory". This is why we love her. Look, I know it feels like 100% better with out the glove, but even that didn't stop michael jackson from wearing one. YOU never know knows who your man is banging on the side... Look, you can give your man the benefit of the doubt, but until he takes you to the altar and puts a ring on your stinky pinky he is going to do whomever the fuck he wants. SO PROTECT YOURSELF little lady!

5. How do you know when a guy's lying?....when his hips are moving...

I DON'T CARE WHAT GOLDEN GOD YOU THINK YOUR MAN IS. A man will say ANYTHING UNDER THE SUN to dittle your skittle, get your klondyke bar and take it home baby. I've LITERALLY SEEN IT ALL. Men will say/do anything if they think they have a chance of sticking their pole in your hole. If you want to break a piece off of their scatkat bar let 'em seduce you with words, but BE SMART ABOUT IT. MEN are all talk when SEX is involved - so when they say they're going to call you the morning after, don't believe them until it actually happens.

5. LITTLE BLACK...

Consider this your BIBLE: Coco Loco CHANEL created the little black dress for EVERY WOMAN...and this sexy little number is what motivated men to have little black books. The more you re-use and recycle your LBD the more you will put your digits into LBB and the more likely you will have TOM, HARRY and DICK calling you up and taking you out. There are so many men in this world, make it your mission(ary) to SEDUCE AND DESTROY.

6. CONTEMPO CASUAL

Keep it CASHual. YOU BASICALLY NEED TO DATE AS MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CAN UNTIL YOU MEET THE ONE!!!!!

REmember you should have at least 5 guys on rotation, even if you like one of them more....

DON'T EVER LET YOUR SELF BE THE GIRL THAT DID THIS

xoxo

RCola

IS THIS REAL LIFE

GET IN MY BELLY

ALL MY THICKEY THICKS - PLZ STAND UP!!!!!!!

shake whatcha mama gave ya!

Rachel Bilson's Deleted Sex Scene from Rachel Bilson

A♥J

il lionness

IN THE HAMBURGLAR'S SHADOW...

....he could never beat the hamburglar

Robyn Cradles Tomorrow Night at The Slipper Room

COME SEE ROBYN CRADLES TOMORROW NIGHT PERFORM HER FIRST BURLESQUE SHOW AT THE SLIPPER ROOM!

23 HAMBURGLARS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 OUR OWN TASTY LITTLE BUNS O' FUN!!!!!

WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE...

The R.Kelly Diet

NEED TO SHED SUM W8?

try the R.KELLY DIET

FREE TRIAL: 12 PLAY/12 STEP PROGRAM

see below for immediate results

1.Trapped in the Closet

If you are reading this you are trapped in the closet... with two big macs, a strawberry milkshake, mozzarella sticks and supersized fries. Trying to take the first bite of your cheeseburger you slip and twist your ankle on your Louboutin stilettos and catch your fall on your MJ silk coolots only to realize your hand was covered in Chipotle BBQ sauce (and the dry cleaner down the street already knows you by the first name).

You don't have a flashlight, it's dark in there and you can't even tell your own greased up mouth apart from your butthole. There is so much gas, and no ventilation - your breathing is getting heavier. God forbid you light a match, shit will go up in flames faster than Sylvia Plath's kitchen. Girl, you have hit ROCK BOTTOM!

You need to come out of the closet, wash your hands and take a long hard look in the mirror. You are powerless over your fast food addiction, and no one likes a tranny who has fallen off the tracks.

2. Double Up

It is time to trade in that double whopper for a double team. Go get yourself a buddy and get ready for some double trouble!

When attempting to overthrow Burger King in his white castle, one needs a partner in crime, a friend to hold your hand and slap your hand away from the fast food you want to shove in your dirty sanchez. It takes a power much greater than yourself to make you put down the burger, take those onion rings off your fingers and nurse you back to sanity.

3. Your mind's telling you no, but your body is telling you yes!

You have a carnal desire for carne asada. That bacon mac and cheese is saying your name, and when no one is around you you say "baby i love you". You need to ditch the bitch. You need to ignore whatever craving your body is trying to satiate and power through it!

Yes, there are children starving in China, and NO it won't make a difference if you finish all the food on your plate or not. If you do you will just be another obese American with your finger up your butt, or down your throat. You need to make a decision to hand over that hunger pain and the fried snickers to the care of your tortilla spooning mate i.e. #1 amigo (see point 2 above).

4. Weight Ain't Nothing but a Number

look. We know that the scale is your worst enemy. It is the real life Regina George - which means at some point you are going to have to step on the bitch. You gotta be tough, you gotta be strong, and you got to be wiser. The R.Kelly diet is about FEELING better, NOT debating whether to step on the scale before or after you drop a deuce. You need to be fearless, and need to do a (m)oral inventory of your food consumption, not your weight in gold, diamonds, or crystal meth...

5. Say no - to the chocolate Factory

You are going to get phat if you eat chocolate. You need to surrender to chocolate, admit your wrongs, and love the chocolate for what it is. Just don't put that shit in your mouth. Be like Eve, put down that chocolate bar and pick up that juicy apple!

6 - 10... is the amount of weeks it will take to see results on the R.Kelly diet (it coincidentally is the ages of R.Kelly's last 2 girlfriends)...see below:

11. I believe I can Fly

by week 11 you will be just like the white winged dove. You will actually feel so light that you will convince yourself you can fly. You will jump off your roof with and an umbrella and click your heels. You will be like Jesus, you will be able to walk on water (except you won't have the body of Christ ie bread NO CARBS!). You will be like R.Kelly - you will be so damn sexy you can make your own sex tape and actually like watching yourself naked.

12. Sex In the Kitchen

The twelfth step of this program leads us to the ultimate reason of why we were on the R.Kelly diet in the first place. TO GET LAID. After you shed a few lbs and gain some more self confidence, you are going to catch a man and he's going to want to cook you dinner (even if you already have a man, you will catch a new one - you are too hot for him!). The only way you will want to be near carbs after the R.Kelly diet is when he puts your hands next to the butter rolls and presents you with delectable (inter)courses. So make sure that he uses Low Phat dressing when he is ready to toss your salad.

GUARANTEED SUCCESS - APPROVED BY GLITTER NATION

TWO THUMBS UP THE BUTT

xoxo

Robyn

THE ULTIMATE FANTA-C...can this man please put an onion ring on my finger...

(s)HE WOLF

Tribute 2 Buffalo Bill

A$$-BURGER$

LET'S (OPEN)FACE IT: Fa$hionA$$ties suffer from a syndrome called A$$-Burgers. But don't let this syndrome get you "down." Savor in our flavour and THINK OUTSIDE THE BUNS. Act like you are the CEO of In & Out and order yourself an ASS-KINS approved double double (s)extra animal style from the secret menu:

Be the BBP (BUTT BURGER PIRATE) and get dat booty!



CALLING FARMER JOHN: this 1 is ready 4 slaughter!


this message has been approved by the original hamburger helper herself:


and the ultimate burger-rapist of all thyme:

TRIPLE XXX, diet squirt

THESE COLORS DON'T RUN...

... but they sure do MOONWALK...

BBC IN MY PYT

xoxoxo

the LIONESS

miss cleo comin' atcha

why's dat azn man tryna stop the pyt.party~

Glory Hole Clips and Scarves

FAST FOOD ALL UP IN MY GRILL

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32899060/

CGI (Come Get In my Belly) BURGER

this virtual burger was made to order from here

xoxox, from ur #1 baby-monster-burger, diet squirt

GAY FOR GAGA

I know I'm late on the VMA tip, but I needed time to digest before I could go all-out with this colassal burger abortion. I needed to consulate my obGYNsessed members of GLITTERNATION before I went any further. I had to take a piss on the stick, if you katch my drift.

Tote, there were a bunch of memorable things about this year's VMAs, but all I can think about is one thing, and one thing only.

LADY GAGA

I AM A CONVERT. If you ask my fellowsisterz of GLITTERNATION, they can confirm for you: I was one of the people who drank too much haterade when it came to Gaga. Basically, I was mad jealous that there was a BADDER bitch than me on PLANET EARTH. I was just one female hating on another female for reasons that only G-O-D knows 4sure. I wanted to think that she hadn't one creative bone in her little butterface tranny trainwreck body. BUT, I must say that after that performance, I am SOLD aka gayforgaga.com aka WRAP IT UP, PUT IT IN ALUMINUM FOIL, COVER IT IN CHEESE AND I AM IN BURGER HEAVENNNNN aka GIVE ME THE HEARTBURN i can handle it.

IS SHE 4 REAL . COM ?!!!!! click hurr to MAKE AN ASSESSMENT.

I have really never seen a more FA$HIONA$TY betch in my LYPHE.

Today, SUCKA SPICE and I went to Target, where she b-o-u-g-h-t the CD.We sang that shit all day til the cows (aka our boss) came home (and left the stenchof passive agressiveness all over the office. can you say it with me??!!!!: IM NOT .COM).

GAGA: Can you please wipe some of your genius off on me when yr done?

I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN, I'LL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL U LOVE ME BETCHHHHHHHH

My religion is officially lost, never to be found again.

x in my OBSESSED o,

the LIONESS

Hotter than GAGA

ONE HOT TRANNY MESS

scroll to the end - it gets better...


AGHGHGHAGHHAHAHA I CAN'T DEALLL

BLAME IT ON THE BLOW POP!!!

Night in Question

Glitternation, where has my world been without you? I was once lost now I am found. Twas blind but now I see. Let us begin with a simple day with a meeting of minds with the GLITTERNATION Spice crew. Never did I have a more amazing time. Dinner at Zuni , drinks AT Chez Josephine( including, vodka, wine, champagne and other forms of delectable with great people. Did I mention there were Blow Pops involved, which led to an interesting experience at the bar with a very nice looking young bartender. There was flirting, Blow Pop eye gazing. Yes, what would the world be without looking into the eyes of a complete stranger did I mention a sexy stranger, while sucking on a Blow Pop? I am the proud owner of a brand new amazing relationship, but are there rules to when you can cheat?

I say YES!!!!!

EXCEPTION 1: Celebrity Status
If they are a celebrity or have some type of power, be it financial, celebrity or George Clooney, you have to do it for one reason. You have to tell the story. Your friends have the right to know how that night with the guy from the Cincinatti Bengals was. There are other reasons but that is the one I needed to list at 2:00am in the morning.

Exception 2: They are really CUTE!

You need it! You know why! There is no other way to explain. Send in questions if you need extra explanation on this one.

Exception 3: You are on vacation.

Stella Got her Groove Back! You can too! Enough SAID!

Exception 4: Your current Boo is trying to stop you from living your full Glitternation lifestyle potential.

Let’s face it; if he is holding you back or still needs work in certain areas and you have tried to work on them, you need to be thinking about the future and bottom line: IT MIGHT NOT BE the right situation for you!!! Test the Waters!
CONCLUSION: TAKE A PAGE FROM MY GIRL JULIA ROBERTS IN SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY AND PRETTY WOMAN..

PRETTY WOMAN: She had Exceptions 1 & 2 holding her down. Richard Gere was cute and he was buying companies, driving around in hot cars, punching Lewis(Celebrity Status)

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY: Exception 4 was the culprit. She wanted to be her. She had to fake her own death, learn how to swim, steal a dead woman’s identity, help in the drama department at the local school, bake an apple pie, sleep with the drama teacher, do I need to go on. Don’t let this be you. This is what happens when it goes too far. Go on a date, go for ice cream, see a movie and by all means PLEASE BRING YOUR BLOW POP!

WHO LIKES TACOS? THIS IS OUR NACHOBELL GRANDE aka THE WAY TO MY HE(f)ART

JESSICA RABBIT SYNDROME

Being Fashion Nasty isn't ONLY about what you wear, it is about WHO you wear (it with). Love/a one night fandango with Scatman Joe comes in many shapes and sizes, and as a woman of taller stature (5'11"), I prefer my men size (s)extra small aka you can try me on for size!

I'm sure i'm not the first gal to say size REALLY does matter. The vertically challenged male can always lure me into doing the horizontal mambo #5. The best I ever had was 5'5 with (mickey) blue eyes, he climbed my tree, picked my apples, cut me down (TIMBERRRR!!!!),picked me up and carried me home! I have never been the same...

Jessica Rabbit Syndrome - We are not talking about bestiality (unless you add some of my exes into the equation...). This syndrome is when you are a TALL AMAZONIAN BABE who likes SHORTER MEN. We want short guys to Roger our Rabbits and un-toon us. My rendezvous with men taller than myself (and there have only been a handful) have always resulted in dissapointment (aka sin orgasmo).

We HEART Sally and Don

Having sex with a tall guy is like having sex with the BFG (including slow fumbling,drooling and his dick is NEVER as big as (you expected) his feet and I have proven this problem scientifically by examining a man's Brain to Dick distance (BDd). Tall guys (over 5'9) BDd>short guys (under 5'9) BDd which leads me to conclude that short men are biologically better in bed and needless to say have better "hand thigh coordination" (There is a reason why all gymnast(ies) are short).

WE WANT SOME OF YOUR MAN CANDY

From my wide range of (s)experiences I can ultimately conclude that shorter men (unless they have an A$IAN FETI$H) are better lovers, more eager to please a woman and most importantly want to become a member of your mile thigh club...

Paris - how are you STILL the HBIC???!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOOOOOOOO I LOVE SHORT MEN

KISS THE RAIN (aka my ass)

ROBYN C>